"Sometimes men come by the name of genius in the same way that certain insects come by the name of

centipede -- not because they have a hundred feet, but because most people can't count above 14."

-- G. C. Lichtenberg.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, 'cuz you're crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Happiness is the untethered ball after which we run wherever it rolls, and push it with our feet when it stops, rolling it

over with the outside of our foot. The ball has some bounce to it and often goes under the gap in the fence. One day

I think a dog took it.

Goethe (1749-1832)

"You can always tell people from Saskatchewan. When the wind stops blowing, they fall over."

"As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?" -- Norton Juster.

"I drink to make other people interesting." --George Jean Nathan

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together."

- Carl Zwanzig -

"Even turkeys can fly in strong winds" ????????

"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do

and always a clever thing to say." -- Will Durant.

There are no destinations, only journeys.

"If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

-- Thomas Szasz

"The greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer."

-- Charles Caleb Colton.

"Indeed, one of the ultimate advantages of an education is simply coming to the end of it."

-- B. F. Skinner.

"Where they love they do not desire and where they desire they do not love."

-- Sigmund Freud

"Today, many physicists believe that nothingness is the foundation of everything, not just the arena in which

matter resides but the substrate from which matter is actually constructed. As physicists envision the

universe now, everything that exists is ultimately just a complex enfolding of the underlying substrate of empty

space. This vision presents the universe, as English physicist Paul Davies has summed it up, as 'nothing

but structured nothingness.' "

-- Margaret Wertheim in the Los Angeles Times.

"The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit."

-- Nelson Henderson.

"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed."

-- Irish playwright Sean O'Casey.

"You don't make sheep any fatter by weighing them."

-- Old Scottish proverb

"Much sorrow may be avoided by acknowledging that as gloomy as being alone makes you feel, it is rollicking heaven

compared with being among most other people."

-- Roger Rosenblatt

"A pessimist is a person who has not had enough experience to be a cynic."

-- Mary Pettibone Poole

"There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing."

-- Comedian Billy Connolly.

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

-- Margaret Mead.

"Genuine ignorance is . . . profitable because it is likely to be accompanied by humility, curiosity, and open-mindedness;

whereas ability to repeat catch-phrases, cant terms, familiar propositions, gives the conceit of learning and coats the mind

with varnish waterproof to new ideas."

-- John Dewey.

"Age does not depend upon years, but upon temperament and health. Some men are born old, and some never become so."

-- Tryon Edwards (1809-94)

"When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it and you argue about what to do about it only

after you have had your technical success. That is the way it was with the atomic bomb."

-- J. Robert Oppenheimer

"Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice

witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

-Pat Robertson, addressing 1992 Republican National Convention

"The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving."

-- Russell Green

"A good man often appears gauche simply because he does not take advantage of the myriad mean little chances of

making himself look stylish. Preferring truth to form, he is not constantly at work upon the facade of his appearance."

-- Iris Murdoch

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and

it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship,

or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the

bidding of the leaders. That is easy.  All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce

the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger. It works the same in any country."

-- Herman Goering, 18 April 1946, Nuremberg

"Animals used to provide a lowlife way to kill and get away with it, as they do still, but, more intriguingly, for

some people they are an aperture through which wounds drain. The scapegoat of olden times, driven off for

the bystanders' sins, has become a tender thing, a running injury.  There, running away, . . . is me: hurt it

and you are hurting me."

-- Edward Hoagland

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know

yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither

the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.

--Sun Tzu, Chinese general. The Art of War, Chapter 3, Axiom 18, c. 490 B.C.;

"The value of old age depends upon the person who reaches it.  To some men of early performance, it is

useless. To others, who are late to develop, it just enables them to finish the job."

-- Thomas Hardy

"We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge."

-- John Naisbitt

"government of the lawyers, by the lawyers, for the lawyers"

Capjdog

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity."

-- Conservative "pundit" Ann Coulter after the attack on the World Trade Centre

"Look, everybody, we're all looking for answers, you know. We all want to understand who we are and where we come from, but... 

sometimes we want to know the answers so badly that we... believe just about anything."

- Stan Marsh 

SURE, BLAME SADDAM

'I heard somebody say, 'Where is Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas.'

A confused U.S. President George W. Bush has some bad news for South Africa's Nelson Mandela

     Stalinist Russia's "Motherland"               Hitler's "Fatherland"                                      G.W. Bush's "Homeland"